Valley

It has been almost 6 months since Ava's diagnosis. Has it only been 6 months? Yet, has it been that long already? It seems long and short all at the same time. You have been through the roller coaster with us, celebrating the victories when they come and then falling on our knees with each disappointing news and heartbreak. Right now feels like one of those valleys. It's hard to describe the deep pangs of watching your child suffer and being utterly helpless to alleviate it. It's the helplessness that can sap the life out of you. And yet it is this same helplessness that turns us to our Heavenly Father to draw the life we need from the Bread of Life Himself. His grace is sufficient for us, for His power is made perfect in our weakness.

In Esther's words:

After countless pokes and prods to her eyes, skin, and other open sores, Ava's tears were unceasing and so were her apologies. "I'm sorry for crying, Mama. I can't help it. I'm hurting everywhere."

Her tears came down as big red drops as they mixed with the blood oozing from her eye sores. It looks like she has eczema herpeticum (cold sores all over the body and face), staph infections in her open wounds, and a case of chicken pox/shingles everywhere else. She is itchy and miserable and tired of being in the hospital. She is in complete isolation due to the sensitive condition of her fellow floor mates that are also immunocompromised which means no visits from anyone including Gwen. We are keeping her mostly sedated with anti-itch drugs that make her super sleepy.

Thank you for the prayers, texts, and messages of love and support. They mean so much to us and are medicine to our souls as we watch Ava have to endure so much pain. It hardly seems fair that she has to deal with this on top of her weakened state but it makes us all the more humble and dependent on everyone else and especially God.

We pray to get over this hurdle but we also remember all of our friends that are going through their own cancer treatments and other personal struggles. September is Pediatric Cancer Month. Please join us in "lighting it up Gold" so that we can bring awareness and more funding to these terrible diseases that are indescribably painful for children to endure. We understand that cancer is a disease that most people know nothing about until it walks into their lives. Well, I know that you, my friends, have walked with us and know the devastating effects and outcomes of pediatric cancer and we thank you for advocating with us.

Thank you for your unceasing prayers and support. They mean more than you know.