(From Esther):

We have seen things while on this journey. Really terrible, sucky, horrific things that children have had to endure. We've seen emaciated children thin from diminished appetites, we've seen big bald heads and equally big haunted eyes staring out from cancer ravaged faces, we've heard children moaning into the night from uncontrollable pain, we've seen parents hold down their child while a needle is stuck into their spine to draw out fluid, we've heard the ragged cries coming from defeated parents when they are told unspeakable things. We have seen things.

But nothing makes me want to vomit, makes me want to scream and pound my fists, to give up and die than at the thought of my girl being scared that she has to leave us behind and go alone.

"I was so scared mama. I had to say goodbye because I was going away for a long, long time and I didn't want to leave you," she said when I woke her up because she was crying and whimpering in her sleep.

God, we can only take so much. Our hearts, they will break beyond repair. They will tear, and bleed, and explode from the pain. So, please, envelop her in your perfect love that casts fear away and, if you take her from me, please don't let her cry for even one second.