Love Always Hopes

Life before all of this was spent being super busy. I was always rushing- rushing through mornings, rushing through goodbye kisses, rushing to work, rushing to class, rushing to lunch, rushing to meetings, rushing through dinner, and baths, and bedtime stories. You see, I thought life was about getting things done, checking off lists, and getting through the day. The crazy thing is that as I was living life, it was actually passing me by.

Life after a diagnosis is slow. Time is measured by when the last dose of medication was given and when the next is due. Hospital days are filled with a whole lot of waiting. We wait for lab results, for doctors to round, for lunch to be delivered, for a sign that everything is going to be okay. We kiss her bald head a thousand times, snuggle in bed for hours, and take little bites of our lunch until it grows cold. We spend time wiping her down for baths, and we coax her sleepy eyes awake for just one more bed time story. It's crazy how time moves slowly and yet we can't seem to fit in everything we want to do with her and for her.

I must confess that I have been scared to hope. I'm afraid that the bigger my hope becomes, the greater heights I will fall from when my hopes are dashed. But what I know is this. Hope is an expression of love. And as I see my friends and family rally around us, rooting for us, praying with us, and walking alongside us, I am moved to want to hope. You show us deep love through your hopes for Ava to be cured.  And we know that love is powerful. In fact, love conquers all.

"Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever!" 1 Corinthians 13:7-8 (NLT)