Thursday, December 17, 2015


We are home. We arrived last night at midnight and stayed up until 3 a.m. soaking in the blessing of this small house whose walls have heard our story from the very beginning.

We were in the woods for some time now. It was dark and foreboding and we could not figure out which way was out. The skies were literally dark and gray in Seattle and the suffocating reality of this dire situation kept forcing its way into our weary hearts. When we got home, we put down our things and after running around like puppies sniffing our territory, we knelt before the Lord and we worshipped. Because whatever the situation, whatever the road ahead, we know that He deserves all of our praise. We sat, grandmas and grandpas, the kids, Mike and I, and we sang and offered up our prayers of thanksgiving. And just as His word promised, we traded our heavy burdens for sweet, otherworldly rest.

There is a clearing now, where light has filtered through. It's still the same forest with tall trees that block our way and hidden roots that threaten to trip us up. But there is that soft glow that brightens the path just in front of us so that we might not stumble, so that we would not fear. So we crane our necks up toward the hope that we might not be lost forever, that this journey won't overtake us and leave us for dead. We walk with arms outstretched in front of us, feeling for the weight of something substantial that we can lean into in case we are tempted to fall. And that is when we run into the unexpected company of people walking with us. We meet you there in this place we do not want to be and we see that you have chosen to accompany us so that we are not alone. Hallelujah.

He has never left us and He will never do so. Thank you for being the expression of God's love for us through your faithful prayers, heartfelt emails, generous gifts, delicious meals, thoughtful conversations, enveloping hugs, and countless more manifestations of love that empower us to keep moving one step at a time through the unknown.

We are making the best decisions we can with each piece of new information we receive about Ava's health. Currently, she is doing so well! The sounds of laughter and delight permeate every room in the house. She looks so good that it's hard to imagine there is disease lurking in her bones but, the truth is, it is there and so we are in constant prayer that her immune system would rise up and fight the most courageous battle of its life and attack every cancerous cell in her body. Mike had the conversation with Ava regarding her relapse and he said it went so smoothly. Although Ava was a little concerned that there were detectable cells, Mike reassured her that it was a small amount and that during her whole fight we would be together. Thank you for praying specifically for this. 

Ava will have a bone marrow biopsy done on Monday at Lurie's. If her disease has grown, we will most likely leave for Seattle right away even before Christmas. But, if her disease remains stable or, by God's grace is gone, we will reassess our plans at that time.

Oh, how we long to hear that she is disease free. How our ears stretch out to hear this good news. But, in the meantime, we continue to utter His promises over and over and over and over again until it has washed every fear away from us.

We don't yet know how, but He will be good to us.

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