Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Love Always Hopes

Life before all of this was spent being super busy. I was always rushing- rushing through mornings, rushing through goodbye kisses, rushing to work, rushing to class, rushing to lunch, rushing to meetings, rushing through dinner, and baths, and bedtime stories. You see, I thought life was about getting things done, checking off lists, and getting through the day. The crazy thing is that as I was living life, it was actually passing me by.

Life after a diagnosis is slow. Time is measured by when the last dose of medication was given and when the next is due. Hospital days are filled with a whole lot of waiting. We wait for lab results, for doctors to round, for lunch to be delivered, for a sign that everything is going to be okay. We kiss her bald head a thousand times, snuggle in bed for hours, and take little bites of our lunch until it grows cold. We spend time wiping her down for baths, and we coax her sleepy eyes awake for just one more bed time story. It's crazy how time moves slowly and yet we can't seem to fit in everything we want to do with her and for her.

I must confess that I have been scared to hope. I'm afraid that the bigger my hope becomes, the greater heights I will fall from when my hopes are dashed. But what I know is this. Hope is an expression of love. And as I see my friends and family rally around us, rooting for us, praying with us, and walking alongside us, I am moved to want to hope. You show us deep love through your hopes for Ava to be cured.  And we know that love is powerful. In fact, love conquers all.

"Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever!" 1 Corinthians 13:7-8 (NLT)


Carla Mahdik said...

Beautiful entry! What you write is so true! Sometimes we take time and the people we love most for granted. We get so caught up in getting things done that we forget to enjoy the precious moments. Thank you for sharing. Im so glad Ava is having a little fun. :) it's great to see her smile! Love her new accessories! She is even more beautiful. We love you Ava! Caroline leads us in prayer every night and tells me they also pray for you at CLA. :)

Anonymous said...

You have opened my eyes tonight... Indeed, I don't want my life to just pass me by. Thank you for sharing this. Love to you and your beautiful family.

{ f } said...

Esther, admist all this pain and chaos, you write so beautifully and thoughtfully... Your fortitude and love is such an inspiration for others and now I can see where brave little Ava gets her wisdom and courage. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all and your family.

Dena Chemers said...

Esther, I am thinking of you constantly and praying daily. You have enlightened my world in so many ways. Ava is strong, hope!!

Anonymous said...

Ayla asked again just now how she is doing and I showed her Ava's pic with polish on and Ayla goes "she's so cute! I'm so glad sh elooks happy :)"