Monday, March 17, 2014

One Million More

I've been cherishing every moment with my girl. Tonight's conversation needed to be recorded.

Me: What is your wish?
Ava: I wish your broken heart would be put back together.
Me: Why do you think I have a broken heart? (I thought I did a pretty good job of keeping my fears from her but she is so observant.)
Ava: Because I am sick. But if I get better, you heart will be better. But if I fight and don't get better, is it okay? Will you feel bad?
Me: I would be very sad but it will be okay.

Then I held her close and quietly cried. And this was what she said next.

Ava: Mama, I'm sorry that a long time ago, I said that I wanted a new mommy. It's just that I was probably upset about something. I think you are the best mama I know.
Me: Ava, I'm sorry I ever hurt your feelings. I never meant to.
Ava: I know.

And when I looked into her face, I saw that she was crying...

Me: Are you crying Ava?
Ava: Yes, it's weird because I didn't even yawn. (and then she touched one of my falling tears and said) I am saving this precious tear.

These are my bittersweet moments with my girl. Praying with all my heart for one million more.

Please consider registering with Be The Match to see if you might be a bone marrow match for a searching patient. You could save more than a life; you could help a family build a million more memories with their loved one.


David said...

What an adorable girl! She will be okay!

MD said...

How swee, this made my heart melt and break a little which I know I shouldn't let it always think positive but as a mother I would feel the same way! Ava darling is a strong soul and she is a fighter, keep fighting! ♥

amanda said...

I am in your cousin Christina's small group in Taiwan. Please know that we are praying for Ava and you from this side of the globe. Thank you for you raw honesty and vulnerability; God is being glorified even in the midst of all your pain and suffering.

May the God of all comfort, who collects each of your precious tears and stores them in a bottle, who keeps track of all your sorrows, (psalm 56:8) be a very real and present comfort to you.

Hannah Alterson said...

Yes, a million more beautiful memories for you with Ava!

Jane said...

I have gotten to know about Ava and your blog posts through a friend of mine's Facebook posts (Peter Cho). My husband and I will pray for Ava and your family from San Francisco. May the peace of God and His strength reside in you and carry you every moment of the day.